Monday, June 08, 2009

Still here

Hi , it's been a while..
I had and still have nothing much to talk about. Or maybe I do have lot's of things on my mind that I wish I can work out, and that's what making me not willing to share with the world.

Lately I have been dealing with a very troubled daughter, she is becoming more tense, aggressive and very cranky and moody. She nags a lot, she defies everyone all the time and she is always on the verge of tears and screams.. She was never like this.. Yes she has always been a hard kid at times but never to this extreme..

I know she is going through a lot.. After a year of living apart it is just coming to her sences that we r going to be apart for ever. and that to her meant that one of us is no longer gonna be her parent. Her dad is remarrying and she is being confused by that.. Thinking sometimes that I will no longer be her mom , and other times that she wishes that her stop mom can be her mom , just so that she can have the family life she wishes for.

No one said divorce was going to be easy, not on me or on her.. especially her.. I know, I've been there before.. As a mater of fact sometimes I still feel some complexes from my own parent's divorce.. Which unlike her's happened before I can even have a memory of a happy life with both my parents in the same house. I know it must be harder on her.

What she is going through makes me feel many emotions, sadness, guilt, anger and helplessness.. I know I am the grownup and should be there for her, happy and strong and reassuring, but I am finding it really hard to do so all the time.. Or even most of the times.. I feel emotionally drained and tired...

But life goes on.. things will work out for the best inshallah, she is young and she will -hopefully- get over it.. She is not me, her dad is not mine and her situation is unlike what I lived through.. So I can't predict what she will be like as a grown up, or how much this will effect her personality.. But I keep wishing for the best inshallah.

So in the middle of all these feelings I have no energy left in me to create.. I try to busy myself with some entertaining things , like reading and playing games on the net ( yes imagine that! me , play games :P) But like always , I keep hearing the pleading of creativity inside of me wanting to be out.. Soon my dear..

Ok for someone who doesn't want to share I sure talked a
But hey, that was only one of the things on my mind, the biggest , most prominent thought, but only one of them..

Next time inshallah I might have something crafty to share.. till then wish everyone a sweet life..
And hey, watch Wolverine, it is a great movie with a capital G !!

1 comment:

moonface1211 said...

الله يكون في عونكم انتوا الإتنين