Tuesday, April 29, 2008

large pillows and after school activities...

I don't know if they are called pillows or cushions, they are very large, I got them for the back of my bed, but didn't like how they looked there, I needed three instead of two and didn't have the chance to go get another one, besides, i have another plan for a head board, something I didn't do before, and I already did the cushioned head board long time ago.

Anyway, I just finished dressing them up today, after a month of getting them, I was trying to do something crafty while in a non creative mood, so I thought at least I can just make a simple black and white pillow cases using some of my loved fabric. it felt good to do anything by hand, even if it was something small.

The other day while coming back from school, my little girl had this funny stickers of eyes , nose and mouth to play with with, she was aiming to look like a giant spider I think.. Whatever it was she looked so cute to not take a picture of her..

Hope every one have a good day.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Warning! ignore this post...

So I have nothing to post about, yet I have billion of things inside me that i wish I can share with the world.. And I can't do any of that.

It's complicated , the human nature.. You feel things , different things sometimes all at the same time. opposite emotions together going through you in the exact minute, leaving u drained and tired and not exactly knowing whether to laugh , cry or kill yourself..!

Strange fear of the future that leaves you paralyzed, you know that it should motivates you to move forward and do something , but it's too hard to leave your comfort zone, your warm place under the covers, in the cool dark room that is your inside world right now..

I think I'm not making much sense, but since when have I ever done that..

Some people would tell me that I am way more mature than my age, and yet others ( or the same people in different occasions) would think I am so immature.. A baby in the inside .. not necessarily in a good way. And that leaves me wondering, which one i am.. Do I feel older or younger than I really am? And why would I want to feel anything but my age? And what is a woman my age should feel like? And what is it that I should be doing or accomplishing at this age to feel good about myself? and will I ever know what i want to do or be?

Ok so I think that this is a bit strange.. mixed and not matched emotions. I keep thinking I am having a thoughts hurricane , hitting me hard in the odd hours of the day , keeping me awake all night, sleeping all day.

I need a big change in my life, but what is bigger than a divorce? death??
Not that I am thinking of it , despite what I seem to be I am more relaxed now that I was before, when I was feeling trapped in a life of uncertainty and resentment. I don't like negative feelings, especially if it was toward someone else, they leave me feeling weak and mean , and I don't like to feel mean.

I think I need to learn yoga.. maybe this way I will feel calmer and more in touch with my emotions.. Or maybe I should buy a set of china and just smash it somewhere.. Or get me a punching bag..!

So I'm not sure if I am going to publish this post or just delete it.. It's very strange sharing this Magritte painting of a feeling with every one who knows me or don't. but it sure feels good typing the words. If only I can attach a scream with it..!

And in case you are wondering, yes I am ok 7amdillah, thanks for asking. even though i seem all weird and crazy I am feeling better in my life, moving forward even if in very small tiny baby steps. I might seem to you standing in my place but trust me I am not..

this post was presented to you by a very pms-y me.. So i would advise you not to think of it again..

This message will destroy itself in five seconds..


Friday, April 25, 2008

My new pink laptop... yaaaaaaaay

Life sure is better with pink around... I got myself a pink laptop. my first laptop ever and it's pink wooooopi what better can i do? pink pink how I love thee..

So I thought that i needed a laptop for when I go anywhere ( as if I do that much) and i was thinking about whether or not to get it.. I went to Jareer bookstore looking at all the pricey laptops and telling myself i just don't need one that high priced. and then suddenly my little girl started shouting "mom look pink laptops!" and that was the end of my thinking period.. I don't remember anything after that point.. (I can fake amnesia , but will it help?). Anyways I thought mom owes me a birthday gift so I convinced her to pay for half of it as my gift. I'm quite convincing when it comes to pink anything

So I'm very happy and excited 7amdillah.. mashallah it looks very pretty and like my friend ( who happened to get the same laptop at the same time) said it just makes u wanna work on it more. And here I am posting my first post from my pink laptop.

So I still don't know how to get my pictures in here (or I'm too lazy to try!) so I'm posting a picture I got from the net for the same laptop as mine..

Oh what a nice and cheerful color pink is.. yaaaaaaaaay

Sunday, April 20, 2008

A gift from me to me

If u remember my love for a certain gray bear with blue nose, you would understand what this gift means to me..

Again, it's all about surrounding myself with things that I love, small things that would bring a smile to my face whenever I look at them. Like this little guy..

He's not very little though, unlike his brothers and sisters..

I just love Tatty Teddy so much, and he loves me back.. :)

Beautifying my lamp..

Like always.. Crafting lifts the mood a bit. And I'm saying a bit because my mood was waaaay down and it needed more than just a finished project.. But that's not our topic tonight.

I'm here to talk about pretty things and how they are essential in feeling good. Some time back I happened to find a very inspiring blog. The lady in the blog was going through a divorce and she managed to make her situation a bit better by beautifying her life , and her surroundings. So inspired by her now, that I am going through my own rough time with divorce , I decided to take care of my rooms I'm living in , and try to always keep pretty and inspiring stuff around me.

I got this lamp when I went shopping to city plaza with N. It was great shape and size for my bed table and lovely black shade that works well with my room decor. But I felt something was missing.

So, a few of these and some time to kill...

And I managed to get the look I wanted...

Pretty, girly and with a touch of pink..

So what do u thing? Maybe it still needs a pink polka dot ribbon on the base?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

What do you think?

I personally don't think it's the best I did. But I think it will do for now.. or for ever..!

I know that for most of u the first thing you would think of is , why didn't I iron the curtains before hanging them? well I have this problem.. I have a vision in my mind of how I want things to look like, I start working on them but then since I have zero patience i can't seem to wait till I am able to finish them well , so I just do whatever thing I can do fast to see the results. So that includes ironing, which I don't like to do when I am in a hurry.

Normally things look good, but not perfectly so.
And this time. considering my not very good mood, I think I did a reasonably good job. What do you think?

I had the curtains altered.. and the valance at the top was once a table cover that I got and had no where to put , so I thought why not cut it in half and use it there?
I think it looks nice in a way..
It will do for now like I said.. or even for as long as I will feel up to changing things again.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

more black&white

Less decoration.. nothing is done yet, I'm still just buying things and getting ready mentally to put them all together in the right time..

The other day I went shopping with my friend, N , you are so much fun to shop with, we should do that more often, I went with her but ended up with more things than what she got

So I got these nice pillows from city plaza..

And I got this laundry hamper from carrefour..

I like the surface of it, I might just use it to store unused things and put some candles on the surface.. dunno yet

And I found these in my old things, don't know what i am going to write when i wake up, a dream maybe? but it works well with the theme..

So they finally did the small tiny kitchen area in our side of the house, it's cute but nothing is done to the room yet so pictures inshallah once I do something in it..

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Mood update..

I'll be out of my blue mood soon inshallah, and into my black one.. just kidding.

I am starting to do my so much delayed decorating, yesterday I finally got myself out of the house and went to Al Zamil, my favorite craft store to buy some materials (like I need any more!) and things I need to do my curtains.

I got the curtains long time ago, but they are all not the type of hanging I need them to be( tab top , is that the right name?) , so they will be needing a bit of altering.

You remember that I wanted things to be in a black&white and pink theme? well I am working hard on the black and white thing, since I loved the look of damask in the new home accessories trend I've seen a lot on the net, I decided to make it my new hobby to collect any black&white or damask (or both) things to fill my large, rather empty, light colored bedroom.

So what do you think of what I got so far...?

candle holders and glass plate from city max..

Curtains (city max) and cushion from geant

a small storage box

Table runner..

Tissues(for crafting) from the one in Bahrain..

Some medium sized vases from farm super market..

Can I fit this little gal too? why she is black and white isn't she? moooo

Do you think I have enough?
more on the room after I work on it inshallah..

So can you make a girl happy ? if any one sees something in black&white around would you please tell me? thanx

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Thank god it's Friday's

My little one is sick again, and that means more sleepless nights and worrying about her, plus she gets to be needy and clingy and easily irritated.. Well the last one is more me than her!

So last night my group of lady friends told me they are going to Friday's and asked me to come, who can say no to such great group? and there they surprised me with this...(I forgot to take pictures of it before i dug in, but then N reminded me to get one, thank god there was a brownie left untouched by that time..!)

I can't say it was a happy surprise where all the waiters sang happy birthday to Reem in the middle of the place..! but at least we aren't in Texas, right N ?

Actually it was a great surprise and it left me happy, one of the ladies couldn't make it and we felt bad for that, but we saw another one which we haven't seen in a while and I got some nice gift certificates and was treated for dinner.. What more can a girl ask for? 7amdillah

So I'm still feeling blue but I think it's starting to be a light blue.. lighter with each passing day inshallah. I just wish I can find my happy feet again and know what I want to do with my life right now.. wish me luck.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Another year has passed..

A whole new life waiting to be lived.. If I can only know how to live it..

Today I am 33 years old, and I am also a divorced woman.. I don't know how we reached that point exactly, but I know that for this situation it was the best thing to do.. But that doesn't mean it's easy or nice.. After 7 years of marriage to the same guy I find myself somehow lost without the idea of him in my life.

It was no one fault and we are still good friends for the sake of our little girl, and because we've always been good friends right from the start.. But I think sometimes it just can't be enough in a marriage.. I know many of you reading this would think I lost my mind, and trust me I was so close to doing that while thinking about things b4 the divorce, but for those of you who know me well, I had to do this.. For the sake of my sanity, and every one else's.

At 33 I find it hard to think of other things to do beside being a wife , that was my dream for always, I know it's not much of a dream but I think that I never gave myself the chance to think of anything beside love, romance and marriage..

And now I have some growing up to do.. wish me luck it's not easy.. But I'm sure it's not going to be that hard either, after all I am blessed with so many good people in my life to give me support and love and encouragement..

I'll keep dreaming, because that's who I am, a dreamer.. But I will try to make my dreams more realistic if that's a possible thing to do.. I will try to live in my life more and be a bigger part in it. B4 it's too late to do that..

And sorry if I sound depressed, I am a bit, but I think it's just normal.. I've just been born into a new life in which I know nothing and need everything.

But tomorrow is another day, and I think inshallah that everything will work out for the best.. I'll just never give up on me. I love me.. I want me to be happy and I will do that inshallah...

So Happy birthday to me

( thanks N for the great greeting in your post, it made me smile a big one )

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Child of the week

My little one was the child of the week last week in her school, it's the first time I heard about such thing , but it seems something going on in all schools. So that last day she took goody bags for her friends and some donuts, and they all posed for some pictures .

With the girls..

With the boys...

Her dress was a gift from my mom's friend and the principle of the school. She loved it so much since it had wings and of course it is pink..

A few days ago I got her her first roller blades. They came with a helmet and knees ,elbows and hands pads in a Disney princesses theme , she loved it so much and was running in them mashallah in no time.

I'm glad she is better than me, I never could roller blade, ride a bicycle or do anything that needs stability , I've always had problems with my inner ears.

So hope every one is having a good weekend.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The best day ever..

Is a day filled with good friends, nice food and.. karaoke..!

Well I finally tried my first karaoke party, and boy is it fun.. so much fun. It's harder to sing without the singer's voice to guide you, but the outcome will always be kind of cute and funny in a way.. I just loved it..!

And N , U r very good mashallah... We all had fun and I wished I can take the karaoke machine back with me..lol

My daughter is child of the week in her school this week, and since we were so sick the last week and part of this one, we didn't really have the chance to do much about it, but my dear L took me yesterday to get the stuff we needed and we had lunch together with all the kids, it was a fun filled day, for the kids and the mom's watching them..

7amdillah.. Life can be soooooooooo good...

In the karaoke night at our friends house we sang many songs, but this one just reminded me of good times and good people, so I thought I'd share it with all of you..