Saturday, April 26, 2008

Warning! ignore this post...

So I have nothing to post about, yet I have billion of things inside me that i wish I can share with the world.. And I can't do any of that.

It's complicated , the human nature.. You feel things , different things sometimes all at the same time. opposite emotions together going through you in the exact minute, leaving u drained and tired and not exactly knowing whether to laugh , cry or kill yourself..!

Strange fear of the future that leaves you paralyzed, you know that it should motivates you to move forward and do something , but it's too hard to leave your comfort zone, your warm place under the covers, in the cool dark room that is your inside world right now..

I think I'm not making much sense, but since when have I ever done that..

Some people would tell me that I am way more mature than my age, and yet others ( or the same people in different occasions) would think I am so immature.. A baby in the inside .. not necessarily in a good way. And that leaves me wondering, which one i am.. Do I feel older or younger than I really am? And why would I want to feel anything but my age? And what is a woman my age should feel like? And what is it that I should be doing or accomplishing at this age to feel good about myself? and will I ever know what i want to do or be?

Ok so I think that this is a bit strange.. mixed and not matched emotions. I keep thinking I am having a thoughts hurricane , hitting me hard in the odd hours of the day , keeping me awake all night, sleeping all day.

I need a big change in my life, but what is bigger than a divorce? death??
Not that I am thinking of it , despite what I seem to be I am more relaxed now that I was before, when I was feeling trapped in a life of uncertainty and resentment. I don't like negative feelings, especially if it was toward someone else, they leave me feeling weak and mean , and I don't like to feel mean.

I think I need to learn yoga.. maybe this way I will feel calmer and more in touch with my emotions.. Or maybe I should buy a set of china and just smash it somewhere.. Or get me a punching bag..!

So I'm not sure if I am going to publish this post or just delete it.. It's very strange sharing this Magritte painting of a feeling with every one who knows me or don't. but it sure feels good typing the words. If only I can attach a scream with it..!

And in case you are wondering, yes I am ok 7amdillah, thanks for asking. even though i seem all weird and crazy I am feeling better in my life, moving forward even if in very small tiny baby steps. I might seem to you standing in my place but trust me I am not..

this post was presented to you by a very pms-y me.. So i would advise you not to think of it again..

This message will destroy itself in five seconds..



moonface1211 said...

انشالله تستقر امورك
.. نفسياادعي واقرأي سورةالبقرة
التغيير الي يحصل في حياة اي انسان لازم يسير فيه بعض الكآبة حتى تعتدل الأمور جربي كمان تمارين الإسترخاء حاولي لا تفكري في شي لمدة 5 دقايق في اليوم
ولا تنسي تكلميني اي وقت تكوني مضايقة حتى لو تبي تجيني ولا اجيك مو مشكلة

Anonymous said...

[b][url=][/url][/b] Reproduction Louis Vuitton Purses is my love about this Valentines Working day. Why should i really like it so substantially? It is actually surely a long-lasting Valentines Working day reward which i acquire from my highly-priced boyfriend, which may assist us to remember our legitimate enjoy without end and in addition the happy time wee alongside one another in our daily life. What more, Reproduction louis vuitton outlet 2012 are style on this Valentines Day, which often can increase the beauty for me.

[b][url=]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] Louis Vuitton, im Jahre 1854 gegründet, heute Teil von Französisch-Postproduktion hohe Luxusgüter-Gruppe Moet Hennessy LouisVuitton. Founder of Louis Vuitton's 1st career at the elite aristocracy pack when touring. Gründer der ersten Career Louis Vuitton an der Elite-Aristokratie Pack für unterwegs.

[b][url=][/url][/b] Such as Chanel's Phone number four parfum, various of those searching bags in the moment are very easily recognisable type importance; signifiers of one's total together together with the perfectly known. There are a selection club functions, alongside one another in and out of perform. fifty ml.

[b][url=]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] If you wish to renovate the house once in a while, then applying bricks is surely not an excellent strategy. It'll be incredibly highly-priced in your part when you use bricks only to adjust is after a few years, whilst you are able to however choose to use it being an accent towards your residence. This type of materials is simply not also ideal for individuals living in destinations in which humidity is rather higher because it is prone to collecting molds..

[b][url=]louis vuitton uk[/url][/b] Subsequent to acquiring more than the factors, it is recommended to opt for your variety to develop consist of by using a type. Generally, themes with ostrich, alligator, reptile on top of that to leather-based are applied supposed for modifying. You are going to give you the option to make a decision on versions by way of example the slimfold pocket e book, this passcase purse or even the popular purse to the Louis Vuitton Storage compartments .

Anonymous said...

Louis vuitton handbags Star stylist Caroline Sieber in a large advertisement within the personalized demonstration of eight various styles of modeling along with the Speedy Bandouliere bag with capabilities and time and energy to spare into the basic sequence. LV (Louis Vuitton) African royal journey wardrobe the concept of your 2009 Wintertime Monogram series bags by Paul Helbers penned outdoors in honor fantastic practicality. Hexagone, such as new faces, like the football package Monogram Monogram the Revelation, Monogram Escapade Monogram.

louis vuitton outlet 2. Advisors are not similar to associates. Almost all people geared up to suggest you on investments (I'm an exception) has a conflict of curiosity: they won't produce a living until any individual purchases the financial merchandise they're peddling. Get additional data from it on the internet retail outlet. You could find out every kind of type and style and design bags on Coach Manufacturing facility Outlet On line, which includes the new promoting coach purses and coach wallets. Coach Manufacturing unit Outlet On the web featured with fashionable leather-based bags and signature products, and carry this bag, it could possibly designate persons manage to be captivatingly female and good-looking. It works the same with talking in community. Follow will allow you to to receive utilized to the situation, and also to lessen worry. As we take into consideration cutting down community speaking anxiety, there are various methods we can easily get follow. Knowing battery capability begins with being familiar with its Milli Amp Hrs or mAH. This is generally the quantity of electrical power or amperage that is certainly discharged or introduced from a battery in excess of a time period right until it reaches 100% depth of discharge (DOD), which in layman's conditions ensures that the battery is empty. Visualize your battery for a fuel tank as well as gas given that the battery capability to raised recognize this..

louis vuitton purses Currently, lots of people get this model because the top manufacturer; specifically the women require proud of possessing a bag in addition to a purse. Louis Vuitton not only has the standard leather products, you'll find it has every kind of products, such as purses, scarves, pens, watches, etcetera. Even so, for higher rate available for purchase, the weak strength of consumers expects to acquire at the very least on the list of Leather-based bags.